


Hiding from Empathy

by PushingUpDaisies



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-11-14 13:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11208585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PushingUpDaisies/pseuds/PushingUpDaisies
Summary: Raven's empathetic abilities are making it increasingly difficult for Beast Boy to hide his feelings for her...from her. It certainly isn't helping that she is being way nicer to him than normal after an awkward encounter.





	1. Dreams

The team had just returned to the tower from the nightly patrol. There was no sign of trouble, so Robin ordered the team to get some much-needed rest.

Beast Boy flopped down on his bed as soon as he entered his room, eyes drooping as he drifted to sleep. He heard a knock on his door, jumping at the sleep-shattering sound. He hesitated, unsure of who could be visiting him this late.

“It’s Raven,” a small, stoic voice said from the other side of the door.

He let out a shaky breath, _Okay, play it cool BB. Don’t let her know you like her. She can literally read emotions so that’s actually pretty pointless but..Stop stalling, she’s waiting on you to let her in, idiot!_

“Oh yeah, come on in, Rae. So, uh, what brings you here? It was probably my dashing good looks, right? Or maybe my smooth charms?” he joked, letting his flirtatious side do all the talking.

Raven rolled her eyes, her typical response to his idea of humor. Turning to face him, she looked as if she wanted to ask him something, or as if she was...expecting something.

_Oh no_ , he thought, _she felt me liking her. Is that even how empaths work?? If it is, I’m so dead._

“Beast Boy..do you...trust me?” Raven asked, seeming almost bashful

“Of course, Rae. Why would you even ask that?” he replied.

She shrugged, taking a step closer. She peered up at him and removed the hood that had been casting a shadow over most of her face. It made him nervous, but he tried to cover it up with his trademark smirk. No way he could let her know she set him on edge. Raven wrapped her arms around Beast Boy’s waist, pulling him closer to her body, glancing from his eyes to his nervous grin. He gulped. Not that he didn’t enjoy where he thought this was going; he did. He really did. But this wasn’t like her. Physical contact was highly emotional stuff and off limits. She needed to keep her feelings in check so her powers didn’t get out of control and she didn’t have feelings for him anyway, so what is going on and kissing was absolutely an emotional thing and....and... And he didn’t care. He let her pull him into her, breathing in her smell, every second stretching into an eternity until they finally met. Raven’s cool lips melded with his fiery grin and he let himself go, releasing the tension he hadn’t realized was building in his shoulders. Suddenly, the girl pulled away. Beast Boy, eyes still closed and lips still slightly parted, felt his heart fall in his chest though it was still beating wildly. She had only just started to kiss him. Why did she stop soon?

“What’s up, Raven?! Where did that come from?! I thought you still sort of hated me in a friendly kinda way?” he queried.

Raven stared back at him, eyes glazed over, not responding.

“Hellooo, Earth to Raven, do you copy? Am I the only one that was here for that??”

She blinked once, twice, then her gaze sharpened on Beast Boy. Her two violet eyes split into four glowing red ones as she growled his name, “Beast Boy...Garfield...Beast Boy..”

Beast Boy bolted upright in bed, his blanket tangled between his legs, bare chest sweating in wake of his dreams. _Oh...it was just a dream...Just another dream about Raven_ , he thought.

“Beast Boy, wake up, we don’t have time for this. Get dressed. It’s Mumbo,” Raven urged, bathed in the pulsating red light that was the tower’s alarm system.

It bore a striking resemblance to the red of her eyes when the demonic traits from her father began to take over. _Guess that explains that last bit,_ Garfield thought, shaking his head to clear it of the dream.

Raven glanced down at him again, her expression not its usual blank stare, but something...else: one eyebrow cocked slightly and a pull at the corners of her mouth. It could almost, almost be considered a grin.

“What is it, Rae?” the boy asked, feeling absolutely naked under her gaze.

“Nothing,” she muttered stoically as she levitated out of his room.

Garfield Logan flopped back down in his bed, willing the thought of her out of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know this chapter is really, really short BUT the chapters do get longer. Also this is my first published fanfiction so have mercy.


	2. Chamomile

“Titans, Mumbo is on the loose. He’s headed right for the jewelry store downtown. Beast Boy, Raven, you two wait there. Cyborg, Star, we’ll try and intercept him here,” Robin traced an imaginary circle on the map as he gave his orders.

“Why aren’t we all going together? Y’know, as a  _ team _ ? _ ”  _ Beast Boy whined.

“Because we always attack as a team. A divide and conquer strategy may throw Mumbo off his game,” Robin replied, “And I don’t know about you guys, but I want to be back home and in bed as soon as possible.”

“Sounds good to me,” Cyborg shrugged, lacking his usual vigor due to sleep deprivation.

“Agreed, I wish to be going back to the sleep very soon,”  Starfire chirped, somehow lively as ever despite her words.

Beast Boy peeked over at Raven. She gave no sign that she was suspicious of him and no hints of resistance to being paired with him on the mission.

“Alright Titans, you know the plan. Move out,” Robin ordered.

_ Great. Alone time with Raven, just what I need to get rid of all these steamy dreams,  _ Beast Boy thought. Tonight’s dream had been relatively tame. If it hadn’t been interrupted he was sure that it would have…

“Beast Boy, let’s go,” Raven said, snapping him out of his thoughts,

“Right, yeah let’s go.” he echoed nervously, avoiding her stare.

* * *

 

They waited in a dark alley a block down from the jewelry store, taking turns keeping watch.

Beast Boy transformed into a panther as he paced, huge paws padding against the concrete. He was too tired, too on edge, and too paranoid to be sitting still.

“Would you  _ please  _ calm down, Beast Boy. I can’t concentrate with you pacing like that,” Raven huffed at him.

“Oh..yeah, sure, totally, uh huh,” the boy stammered, shifting back into his human form “Hey Raven?”

She sighed, “Yes, Beast Boy?”

“You can’t read minds, can you? I mean, it would be totally cool if you could, I was just wondering.”

“No, but I can feel the emotions of others. Right now, you are exceptionally nervous,” she replied cooly. 

“Me? Nervous? I’m Beast Boy, King of Cool. I’m never nervous,” he fibbed.

“I don’t have to be an empath to know you’re lying right now,” she answered.

He sighed, “Yeah, yeah...Sorry.”

Raven closed her eyes for a moment, “If there’s something on your mind, you know you can talk to me, Garfield.”

Her use of his real name and her uncharacteristic friendliness toward him made his face burn senselessly.

“Rae, I…,” 

A loud crash sounded from outside the entrance to the alleyway. The two Titans jumped, yanked from their quiet conversation. Beast Boy transformed into a panther once more and Raven’s eyes darkened as she raised her hands in preparation.

The two raced around the corner, then skidded to a halt as they saw what caused the sound. A stray cat had knocked over a garbage bin, pawing through the trash for food.

“Looks like we’re the scaredy cats here, huh?” Beast Boy joked. 

Raven rolled her eyes. Just as she opened her mouth to insult his lack of originality, her communicator beeped. 

Flipping it open, she spoke into it, “Raven.”

“Mumbo is on his way back to prison. Divide and conquer was a success. See you two back at the tower. Robin out.”

Beast Boy yawned, stretching his lanky arms upward, “Great, now maybe I can get some decent sleep.”

“Did you not sleep well before we started the mission?” Raven asked, calm as always.

Beast Boy gulped, “What? Why would you say that?”

She shrugged, stony eyes fixed on the road before her, “You were sweating when I woke you. Nightmares?”

_ Definitely not,  _ he thought smugly.

Raven glanced at him, raising an eyebrow.

_ Don’t think about it BB, she’ll be able to feel.., _ he stopped in his tracks.

“Beast Boy come on, I want to go home.”

“R-Raven?”

“What?”

“Can you feel emotions off of dreams?”

She paused, “Yes.”

Fire crept up Beast Boy’s neck and onto his cheeks, “You didn’t, ya know, empath on any of my dreams did you?”

“Your dream earlier was rather strong. Based on what I felt, I assume you don’t want to talk about it.”

“I..wait, no! Um..what did you feel?”

Raven shot him a look that told him all he needed to know. 

“I..I can explain?” he tried.

“Garfield, you’re a teenage boy. It’s not abnormal and quite frankly, the less I know the better.”

Beast Boy stayed quiet, embarrassed, _She knows, great...At least she doesn’t know who it was about. If she did, I would be done for._ _  
_ “I’ll try and stay away from your emotions while you sleep from now on, trust me,” she said, attempting to lessen the awkwardness.

“It’s whatever, I guess. It’s not like I can control what I dream anyway,” he muttered.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Beast Boy...I’ve felt similar dreams come from the others as well.”

“Really?” he asked, gaining a curious confidence.

“Unfortunately.”

“Well, you’re a teenager too, Rae. Don’t you ever have freaky dreams?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

She glared back at him, “No.”

“You can play innocent aaall you want, Raven, but I bet you have all kinds of steamy dreams.” he smirked. 

“Unless you want me to mention your hormonal stupor to the rest of the team, I suggest you drop this subject.”

“Y-yes, ma’am, Raven, sir,” Beast Boy squeaked.

As they approached the tower, the shapeshifter trailed behind, letting his teammate take the lead.

_ I gotta be more careful...I don’t want it to get weird around here. Raven doesn’t like people in general, let alone me. I don’t have a chance. _

As she hovered through the doors of their home, Beast Boy watched her. Her small figure seemed so fragile, yet he knew how strong she was. It was one of the many reasons he admired her. He knew he was infamous for being a flirt, but what he felt for Raven was different than any of the schoolboy crushes he had had on girls before. Those days died with the girl who had previously been the object of his affections. 

Raven was something else entirely to him. She was smart, smarter than he could ever be. She was brave, not because she wasn't afraid of her demons,  but because she continued to live and do good in spite of them. She was caring but in her own way. She would heal a teammate in a heartbeat, even though that meant her carrying the pain of their injury. She was like no one else in the world.

As they passed by the kitchen, Raven hesitated.

“What’s up, Rae? Hungry?”

“No. Beast Boy, would you like to try something that may help with your dreams?”

The boy swallowed, unsure of what she could mean, “Sure Raven...What did you have in mind?”

She walked slowly toward him and his heart leaped into his throat. Just as he was sure that she was going to run into him face first, she veered to the left, opened a cabinet and pulled out a small yellow box.

Beast Boy stood there mystified, wondering what could be inside.

“Herbal tea. Chamomile. It calms nerves and can help you sleep,” she explained, removing a small tea bag from the container.

Beast Boy crinkled his nose, skeptical, “I dunno Raven, how does it taste?”

“Chamomile is very...unique. You can add sugar if you like. There's really no way for me to describe it to you.”

The boy squinted at the bag then nodded, “I’ll try it but if it's gross, I won't finish it.”

Raven simply nodded and began preparing the tea for him.

He didn't really want to try the tea but it was something Raven enjoyed and she was trying to help. He could at least give it a shot. 

Soon enough, Raven had a steaming mug before him. Hesitantly, he picked it up and sniffed its contents.

“It smells like cut grass,” he commented, not sure if that was a good thing.

Raven nodded, “It's made from a flower so it tastes like it smells. A little sweeter though.”

Beast Boy took a careful sip, letting the flavor wash over his tongue. It was certainly different from anything he had ever tasted, but it was  _ good. _ He closed his eyes briefly, feeling the warmth of the drink spread through him.

When he opened his eyes he found Raven staring at him, attempting to gauge his response.

“This is great, Raven. Seriously, I can't believe I haven't tried this stuff before. And it's vegetarian!” he said, adding a small jest to the end of his appraisal. 

“I’m glad you like it. It should do to put you to sleep,” she replied, “and stop you from having any...interesting dreams.”

Beast Boy blushed again, dropping his gaze as he continued to sip on his tea. Despite the nervous pounding of his heart, he began to feel a calm settle over him. Finishing off the drink, Beast Boy stood to head back to his room. Raven rose with him, heading to bed as well.

As Beast Boy neared his room with Raven beside him, he cleared his throat. Raven stopped, turning to face him and raised an eyebrow in question. 

“Thanks for the tea Raven. Really, I can already tell it's helping. And thanks for not being weird about...everything,” the boy thanked her, abnormally sheepish in comparison to his usual boisterousness. 

“No problem Garfield. Goodnight.”

Beast Boy entered his room, flinging himself unceremoniously onto his bed for the second time that night. His paranoia induced exhaustion in addition to the calming power of Raven’s chamomile tea pulled Beast Boy into a deep, dreamless sleep that he was sure to be thankful for the next day.


	3. Fall Cleaning Day

 

Beast Boy let out a yawn and stretched as he opened his eyes. He squinted at the clock next to his bed.

_No way I’m getting up at 6:22 in the morning on a Saturday,_ he thought.

With a smile on his face, he pulled his blanket closer around him. He rolled over, landing with a sound thump on the floor. As he stood up, he hit his head on his nightstand. After deciding that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep after being beaten up by his own bedroom, he headed to the kitchen for breakfast.

“Stupid bed, being too short. Who does he think he is?” he mumbled to himself groggily as he grabbed two slices of bread and jammed them in the toaster.

While he waited for his bread to finish toasting, he walked to the calendar that was stuck to the fridge with sparkling pink magnets; likely Starfire’s doing. Scanning the page for the current date, he groaned. November 17th was labeled “Fall Cleaning Day”. Upon further inspection, he perked up. The small square was highlighted purple and blue. Raven and Cyborg would be in charge of making the tower spotless while the rest of the team went out for a day at the park, or whatever else they chose to do.

_Ooo, I could go get some veggie pizza, or maybe go to the arcade, or-_

His toast popped out of the toaster, causing him to shriek.

“Oh it’s only my breakfast,” he said, placing a hand on the back of his neck, “Nothing to be afra-”

“Beast Boy?”

He shrieked again, shifting into a turtle and receding into his shell. A few seconds later, he poked his small head out to see Raven standing by the kitchen counter glaring at him.

“Oh! Hey Raven. I was just...Yeah, I’ve got no excuse for that.”

Raven hummed, stepped around him to the cabinet holding her teas, and pulled out a green box. While she searched for a tea cup in the messy kitchen, Beast Boy examined the box. It was labeled “Green Tea”. He opened the container and sniffed inside, coughing.  

_This smells uber gross. How can she drink this stuff?_

Thinking back to the night before, he realized it must have a purpose or some effect. Turning the box around, he read the description on the side aloud, “Our signature green blend enlivens the earthy flavors of this delicate tea.”

Raven turned around with her cup, silently removing the box from Beast Boy’s hands.

“What does this one do, Raven?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Ya know. The camel tea or whatever you gave me last night was for calming down and sleeping. What is this one for?”

Sighing, the girl replied, “First of all, it was _chamomile_ tea, not _camel_ tea. Green tea can improve brain function and energy levels, but I drink it because I like it.”

Beast Boy made a mental note, _Chamomile tea. Right. Camel tea? What were you thinking?_

“Well, what does that one taste like?” he asked, feeling as if he was discovering a whole new world with all of this talk of tea and the cool benefits it had.

“Why are you up so early, Beast Boy?” Raven asked, irritated,

Withering a little, Beast Boy thought up a less embarrassing reason for his early rising, “Oh ya know, just thought I’d get in a little extra training time today.”

Raven gave him a sideways glance as he flexed, “Mhmm. It has nothing to do with the loud thud I heard come from your room this morning then?”

“Okay, fine. I fell out of bed. So what?” he paused, “Did I wake you up?”

“No. I'm awake at 5 o’clock. Every morning,” she replied dryly.

_What kind of person gets up that early willingly?_

Taking her steaming cup with her, Raven walked away.

“Hey! Where ya goin?” Beast Boy asked, following her for a few steps.

“To the roof to meditate.”

“Cool, can I-”

“Alone,” she quipped, cutting him off.

Raven walked toward the elevator while Beast Boy stared after her. Plopping down on the black sofa that dominated the living room of the tower, Beast Boy ate his toast in the quiet, tapping his toes on the ground, fidgeting, then humming to himself to keep the deafening silence at bay. When he was alone, and the stillness crept up on him the memories snuck into his mind, sending him reeling into the past…

 

He could have saved his parents. He could have saved Tara Markov, the girl he had loved and then lost. He could have saved his former team. Chief, Elasti-girl, Negative Man, Robotman, Mento….Gone.

_If I had been stronger, they would still be here._ _If I hadn’t shunned her, she wouldn’t have died. If I had acted faster, they wouldn’t have gone so soon._

Shaking his head, Garfield wiped a tear off of his cheek. He couldn’t dwell on the past. It got him nowhere. His tears couldn’t take him back in time, nor could they raise the dead.

He thought back to the first time the Titans had fought Jinx, Gizmo, and Mammoth. Robin disappeared during the battle. In a moment of despair, he had turned to Raven, begging her to tell him that none of it had happened. What she said next had gotten him through many of the late nights when grief began to overtake him: “We cannot change the truth, no matter how much we dislike it.”

Remembering the words of his teammate, he stood. Brushing a few crumbs off of his lap and into the floor, he decided to seek the calming company of Raven, whether she was aware of it or not. Quietly he took the stairs up to the roof of their enormous t-shaped home. Reaching the door that opened onto the roof, he transformed into a mouse and slipped through the small space under it. As he wriggled through the opening and onto the roof, he noticed that the sun had not yet risen, but the sky was steadily lightening. In the predawn haze, Beast Boy watched as Raven meditated. She was levitating, the hood of her cloak pulled away.

Beast Boy transformed into a dragonfly and flew silently to the girl’s side. Suddenly the sun broke over the horizon, bathing the Earth in radiant light and illuminating the roof of the tower. Beast Boy wondered at the beauty before him: not the sunrise, but the girl he had begun to adore.

She was magnificent. The sunlight illuminated her ashen skin into a beautiful silver. With her eyes closed, she was so at peace, so serene, that any notion he had ever had of her being sinister stole out of his mind completely. Her eyes, her lips, her nose, every feature a beautiful melody; her knowledge, her power, her silent strength the harmony. He had never seen someone so exquisite in his life and he was sure he never would again

Feeling the pounding of his heart, Beast Boy backed away. He had gotten so caught up in the moment that he didn’t think about Raven’s empathetic abilities. Fearing she would feel his presence, he darted away, transforming back into a mouse to slip under the door, then back into himself, breathing heavily, _What if she felt...whatever that was? I’ve gotta figure out some way to block all this empathy crap before I get caught and killed._

Heading downstairs, he heard the routine clank of pots and pans that meant Cyborg was up and cooking a large, non-vegetarian breakfast for the rest of the Titans. Beast Boy wrinkled his nose as the smell of bacon drifted toward him.

“How many times are you going to cook meat right in front of me?” he whined.

“How many times do I have to tell you that you being a veggie won’t stop me from loving all things meat?” Cyborg replied, waving a pan around and spilling grease onto the countertops, “Look what you made me do!”

“Woah, guys. Chill out,” Robin interceded before things got too heated.

Beast Boy sighed. Having been most of the animals Cyborg liked to eat, it made his skin crawl to watch the fleshy bacon sizzle and pop in the skillet.

Changing the subject, Beast Boy decided to bring up the calendar, ”So Cy, you get to spend some quality time with Raven and Titan’s Tower dirt today, huh?”

“Not so fast lil man. Your green butt is taking my place.”

“What?! Why?”

“Because you had fleas on Summer Cleaning Day and we traded. Don’t act like you don’t remember BB. We signed a contract,” he grinned, holding up a stained napkin with Beast Boy’s messy signature on it.

_He kept that? I thought he would lose it…_

Beast Boy sighed loudly, “Fine.”

Cyborg smiled triumphantly as he flipped pancakes and scrambled eggs.

_The universe wants me dead. It wants me to be a green smear on Raven’s boots after she stomps me to death._

Raven descended from the roof just in time to see him banging his head against the wall repeating, “I’m dead, I hate my life, I’m dead, I hate my life,” quietly to himself like a mantra.

Noticing her presence, he shrieked and jumped into the air.

“Is this going to become a standard greeting? If so, please don’t expect the same from me,” Raven said dryly.

Though she no longer stood in the bright light of the rising sun, Beast Boy still found himself transfixed. Even before he developed feelings for her, Beast Boy had always found her to be attractive in a quiet melancholic way. Whatever snapped in him on the roof turned that into something more. Now it was as if he had been blind his whole life and she was the first thing he opened his eyes to. He gulped. How was he supposed to hide this?

“N-no. I’m just jumpy this morning. Sorry. Won’t happen again,” the boy said softly.

“It’s fine.”

Around the tower, the other Titans bustled about, preparing for their day off. Cyborg was dismantling the living room in search of his football, complaining that _someone keeps moving his stuff, why do people keep moving his stuff._ Starfire flew about, searching for Silkie with every intention of taking him to the dog park. Robin packed a bag with a few cold drinks and snacks, electing to go with Star “just to be safe”.

Beast Boy sighed and trudged to the kitchen. He wasn’t sure what he dreaded more: the fact that he was being left alone with Raven, surely to be found out or the fact that he would be scrubbing dirt and moving garbage all day. He didn’t mind messes or dirt. Sometimes he preferred it to being clean. He just didn’t like cleaning up. What was the point? Everything would simply get dirty again. He grabbed a box of yellow rubber gloves and bleach in a spray bottle.

As he walked to the bathroom on the first floor, he resolved to talk to Raven as little as possible. Walking past her, he said grouchily, “I’ll be in the bathrooms if you need me for anything.”

Transforming into an octopus, Beast Boy slipped a rubber glove onto each tentacle and scrubbed at the stubborn used-to-be-white tiles. They were now a sickly yellow, some even tinged green where they met one another. Even for a house filled with five teenagers, or sometimes more, the place got pretty gross.

_I need to stop all this Raven crap. I’m just going to get disappointed,_ he told himself repeatedly, _It’s not like we would work anyway. She’s quiet, I’m loud. I like comic books, she likes real books. She doesn’t think I’m funny. She’s smart, I’m not... She’s strong and she’s really pretty and- Hey! Snap out of it BB._

Lost in thought, he didn’t notice that the tiles had turned back to their original white until several minutes later. Garfield shook his head and removed his gloves, then returned to his human form. Walking out of the bathroom muttering to himself, eyes down, he ran straight into Raven.

“Oops! Sorry, Rae. I guess I wasn’t paying attention like I should. Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she paused, “Beast Boy, what’s going on? You seem really distracted.”

_Why is she being so nice when I don’t want her to be nice?! I need her to be mean to me so I can get back to not thinking about her!_

“I...I don’t know. I guess I’m stuck on some stuff.”

“I know I’m not one to talk, but holding things in tends to make them stir, not go away. I’m not asking you to tell me, but you should tell someone. If it is me that you choose, I will do my best to listen.” Without another word, she drifted away, a broom in hand.

Moving from bathroom to bathroom, Beast Boy scrubbed at tiles and plaster. With every bit of grime he removed from the tower, he felt as if it added a pound on his mind.

_Maybe I should tell someone. But who? Not Raven. Duh. Cyborg? Maybe. He’s my best bro...but he would just tease me. Or worse, make kissy faces at me while she’s in the room. No way. Nuh uh. Robin? That’s a fat no. He would just lecture me on how being in a relationship is a hindrance on blah blah blah. Like he can talk. He’s got it so bad for Star.... Starfire’s a girl. Maybe she’ll know what to do._

He resolved to talk to her about it if his nerves didn’t get the better of him. He was sure they would. After de-griming all showers in Titan’s Tower, Beast Boy checked the time. It was 9:47. Groaning, he walked toward the kitchen, contemplating doing the dishes. Raven stood in his way.

“Beast Boy,” she said sternly.

He gulped, ”Yeah?”

“You have some explaining to do.”

“I do? I mean, I do,” _She knows. How does she know? Can she actually read minds and she just didn’t tell me?! I’m a smear for sure now, “_ You have every right to be angry and I know it’s stupid and careless and unacceptable so don’t worry, I don’t plan on-”

She cut him off, “Beast Boy, you’re acting as if this is a new development. Do you even know what I’m talking about?’

“I thought I did,” he trailed off, peering up at her.

“Your room. You left the door open. It’s an atrocity. I have been to dimensions far more terrifying than you can possibly imagine and your room is in the top ten. Clean it.”

He laughed skittishly. His room? That’s what this was about?

“Why are you laughing?”

“I-It’s nothing, Raven. Just thought of something funny.”

She peered at him suspiciously but didn’t press it. Before walking away, she added casually, “I’m going to help you.”

The two headed to Beast Boy’s room. In his opinion, his room wasn’t that bad, but with Raven about to enter, he was embarrassed. Not to mention, he dreaded the effect all of this extra time spent with Raven would have on his dreams. He knew now that she could feel his emotions, sleeping or awake.

_Grin and bear it,_ he supposed.

Waltzing into his room, arms spread wide, he covered up his embarrassment with an enthusiastic, “Welcome to my humble abode.”

“Humble. Not exactly the word I would use to describe this...or you for that matter.”

“What can I say?”

“Nothing, preferably. You start getting rid of food and dishes. I’ll move laundry.”

As he stacked plates and cups, grimacing at the moldy mounds of various foods on each one, he realized just how smelly his room was. It was no longer an opinion or point-of-view, but fact. It was gross. Hanging his head, he took his stack of dishes to the kitchen to be washed later.

He walked back to his room trying to think of something, anything he could say that would perhaps restore his reputation as if it had been stellar to begin with. He opened his door to find Raven moving a pile of dirty clothes taller than him through the air and into the most open area of his floor. Beast Boy glanced around. There were still more clothes strewn about despite the mountain already established in the center of his room. He brought a hand to the back of his neck and glanced at Raven nervously. She didn’t appear to be disgusted, just focused on the task at hand.

He pursed his lips and looked around, “I got out all the gross food stuff. What’s next?”

Raven surveyed the room, narrowing her eyes at the cardboard boxes overflowing with knick knacks, “Those. Take everything out of them, go through it all and put everything you don’t want in a pile. I’ll deal with it from there.”

_Easy peasy. That’s all just junk anyway,_ he thought, happy to be doing something less smelly.

It wasn’t easy. Every trinket he pulled from the box had a memory tied to it. Before long he had gone through all four boxes with only three things he was willing to part with.

Raven glided over, looking at the three items on the floor, “A paper clip, a lint ball, and a broken Rubik’s cube. Out of all of those things, you’re _only_ throwing away a paper clip, a lint ball, and a broken Rubik’s cube.”

“It’s all special! Rae, you can’t tell me you don’t have special stuff!”

“I would hardly call that burnt football special Beast Boy.”

“It’s the football that we played with last week at the park! Cy fell and his arm cannon went off, remember? Good times,” he trailed off, reminiscing.

Raven took the charred ball from the box where it resided, “This is going in the trash.”

Beast Boy’s shoulders slumped in submission, “Fine, I guess.”

He looked up to her, pouting, _At least I can be mad at her over this and it will help with the crush I have on her. Crush..hah.... I sound so dumb._

After a brief hesitation, Raven rolled her eyes, “Wait here.” Then she left.

Garfield waited patiently as he was told to do and began to look around the room. It wasn’t clean by the standards of most people but he could see at least half the floor and it no longer smelled as strongly of the strange scent he had yet to identify. They hadn’t gotten to the anarchy that was the space under his bed, but Beast Boy hoped Raven would let that be. There was no telling what atrocities lived under there. Despite the fact that she was making him throw away his stuff, he was glad Raven made him clean his room. Maybe now he wouldn’t catch some deadly disease from the mixture of germs he had left behind.

As he was thinking about the possibility of his room giving him the Spanish Flu, Raven returned. Her hands were raised in front of her, her eyes entirely white, emitting a soft glow. Several long black boards followed her through the door and floated gently to the floor.

“What’s that for?”

“Shelves. I found them in the basement while I was cleaning.”

“Yeah, but why are they in my room?”

Raven sighed, “You obviously aren’t going to part with any of the contents of those boxes, so I thought these would be a more aesthetically pleasing way to store your...,” she hesitated, “...special stuff.”

“No way, Rae! That’s awesome!” Beast Boy smiled, “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. Now, you put up the shelves while I move your bed.”

Beast Boy’s cheeks warmed as he put up the shelves on the wall opposite his bed. Even though it probably wasn’t a big deal to Raven, the act of kindness made Beast Boy giddy. Every little thing she did recently had been more gentle toward him. It was likely a sort of apology for accidentally feeling out his dream, but he didn’t care. He didn’t _want_ to be attracted to her or feel the nervous panic that rose in his chest when someone mentioned her name to him, but he couldn’t seem to shake the feeling. Not when she had been so nice. It gave him hope that he knew to be false. Suddenly, he felt the urge to ask her the reasoning for her friendlier than usual behavior.

Turning from the wall, Garfield opened his mouth to ask her just that, then froze in horror when he saw what Raven held in her hand. It was a small black inconspicuous notebook. Nothing remarkable on the outside, but inside was all of Beast Boy’s secrets. Not that he had too many, but the ones it did contain were not meant for Raven’s eyes, especially when a few of them were about her.

Trying to remain nonchalant to avoid suspicion, he strolled lazily to where she stood and laughed nervously, “Hey, whatcha got there Rae? Oh, that old thing? I’ll just take that. It’s trash anyway.”

Raven raised an eyebrow, “I can throw it away Beast Boy. I’m not incapable.”

“Of course not! I just...want to say goodbye to it?”

“What’s going on? What are you hiding Gar-”

She was cut off by Beast Boy snatching the book quickly from her hands and sprinting from the room. He took it to the one place he knew Raven wouldn’t go: Starfire’s room. It wasn’t like she hadn’t been invited inside several times. She didn’t care for the atmosphere. Too pink, too open, too light for her. Beast Boy shoved the book under Star’s bed.

He returned to his room, still shaken from the near disaster. He decided that as soon as he crossed the threshold to his room, he would ask her why she had been acting the way she had. Taking a deep breath, he entered his room.

“Why have you been acting weird?”

“What are you hiding?”

Both titans stood stone still for a moment, confused by their simultaneous speech.

Raven crossed her arms, “You answer first. What are you hiding?”

Beast Boy stuck his chin in the air, “Nope. You.”

Raven rolled her eyes, “Garfield what is going on? We are supposed to be on the same team. I respect your privacy, but you have been more on edge than I have ever seen you.”

Beast Boy racked his brain for an excuse for his behavior. Raven crossed her arms over her chest, impatient.

He had an idea. Sighing dramatically he decided to spill his false secret, “You caught me, Raven. I’ve got it bad,” he paused for dramatic effect, “I’ve been crushin’ hard on Star.”

She raised her eyebrows, “You...like Starfire?”

Beast Boy turned his head in mock embarrassment, “Yeah...I didn’t want you to know. I figured you could feel it with your empathy stuff.”

“I see. Well..good luck.”

“Good luck?”

“I’m not really sure what to say here. Not many people tell me their personal problems. I shouldn’t have pushed you into telling me. I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool. I have been acting pretty wonky after all.”

Raven hummed in response.

Now it was Beast Boy’s turn to cross his arms over his chest expectantly, “So, your turn to answer. What’s been up with you? You’ve been way nice to me. Not that it isn’t appreciated but...You don’t really like me.”

Raven’s eyebrows drew low over her indigo eyes, “What are you talking about?”

“What do I mean? You gave me your special tea, you’ve been calling me by my _name,_ you’ve been asking me if I’m okay, you’re helping me clean my room, and you got me shelves for my stuff even though you think it’s dumb!”

Raven’s mouth drew into a small frown, “I don’t know, Ga-...Beast Boy. I didn’t think anything of it until you mentioned it. I guess I don’t dislike you as much as you thought.”

Beast Boy glowed at the almost compliment, only to be shot down with her next words.

“That doesn’t imply that I like you very much either though, so don’t think that’s what I’m getting at.”

“Right. Gotcha. You’ll keep my secret though right?”

Raven nodded solemnly, “I won’t say anything to her….or the guys. I’m sure Robin would be severely uncomfortable with the knowledge.”

Beast Boy nodded vehemently, “Exactly. That’s why I want to keep it a secret. Just until it blows over.”

Raven nodded and turned back to his bed, reaching down for the next dusty item to be stored or thrown away. With her back to him, Beast Boy was able to let out a sigh of relief, _Nailed it. Now I just need to talk to Star._

Before he turned back to the shelves, he looked at Raven. Really looked at her. He looked at her pale skin and wondered if she had inherited its unique color from her mother. He looked at her hair, slightly longer than her usual neat bob, and wondered if she was planning to grow it out, wondered what it would feel like between his fingers. He looked at her arms and wondered what they would feel like wrapped around him. He looked at her and he wondered. He wondered what it would be like if she decided that she wanted him the way he wanted her.

He shook his head to clear his mind, _If I keep this up, I’ll be having messed up dreams for a week._

The thought made his head fall back in despair. If she felt another dream, she would think it was about Starfire and think he was a totally perverted creep. Who was he kidding? _He_ had even started to think he was a totally perverted creep, as many times as he had had dreams about Raven. Not all of them were wildly inappropriate, but they were usually bad enough for him to wake up feeling dirty.

Once Beast Boy finished hanging the shelves and placing all of his knick knacks on them, he turned to Raven. She gathered all of the garbage that she had pulled out from under his bed into a trash bag and tied its top into a neat knot. A quick survey of the room revealed that, other than a stray item or two, Raven had conquered the beast that was his room.

“Woah.”

Raven faced him, a small smug grin tugging at her lips, “What?”

“It hasn't been this clean since...ever!”

She hummed, striding out of the door, “It's noon. I'm going out for lunch.” and she was gone.

Garfield collapsed on the floor, arms and legs spread wide, eyes turned to the ceiling high above him, “I’m absolutely going to die because of that woman.”

* * *

 

Hours later, when the other titans returned to a sparkling tower for dinner, Beast Boy was ready. He left a message on Starfire’s communicator telling her to meet him in her room as soon as possible.

He sat on Star’s fluffy pink bean bag chair, notebook in his lap. He tapped his fingers on its cover. He bounced his legs up and down. He was nervous. Just as he decided to abandon his plans to tell Starfire, her door slid open.

           “Beast Boy? You have asked me here to have talking?” Starfire glided into the room, eyes bright with curiosity.

         “Yeah..Uh..Star,” he brought a nervous hand to the back of his neck, “I've got a big secret and I need some advice and since you're a girl, I thought maybe you could...help me with it….So, Starfire..”

      “Beast Boy, whatever you need to say, please do. I am your friend and I am here.”

        Her words stilled the nervous fluttering in his chest long enough for him to blurt out, “I have a huge gross crush on Raven.”

           Starfire’s emerald eyes grew wider until Garfield was sure they were going to roll out of her head and into her open mouth. Emotions he could not place flitted across her face as her eyebrows crept higher and higher. Beast Boy unconsciously raised his hands to his face to protect himself from whatever was about to happen.

             “This...is…”

             “Star, please don't kill me!”

             “Kill you? Beast Boy, dearest friend, this is glorious!”

             “It..it is?”

             “Absolutely! On my planet, such affections are to be celebrated immediately by marriage and a feast!”

“Starfire! _Marriage?_ She doesn’t even like me!”

Starfire withered, “Oh. I suppose I got too excited did I not? What is the advice you are seeking from me?”

“What can I do to get over it?”

Starfire closed her eyes, deep in thought, “Why is it that you have this crush on our friend Rachel?”

“Star, this is embarrassing…but fine. She’s wicked smart, for one. And super pretty, like the sky at night y’know? She’s not mean like everyone thinks, she just doesn’t have anyone to listen to her like she wants. She’s actually super nice and sincere when she wants to be. I just can’t stop thinking about her and how everything she does is just… everything she does is...” he trailed off, trying to think of the words he needed.

Starfire looked at him, her eyes sad and understanding, “Perfect.”

Beast Boy nodded and wondered why she seemed so sad until he realized, _She likes Robin. I mean, of course she does but, she’s got it bad too._

Starfire had always been a close friend of his and his heart hurt for her, “Star..I’m just guessing here but...You like Robin, don’t you?”

She nodded solemnly, “Di- Robin...has been a wonderful friend to me and I do wish that he could be more than such, but I fear he does not want to pursue a _romantic_ relationship with me. He surely sees me as a friend and nothing more.”

Beast Boy smirked, “Star, something tells me you’re wrong. Flirt with him a little and show him you’re interested. He’ll come around.”

Koriand’r smiled, eyes bright once more, “I shall try to flirt with him. Beast Boy, was it not you who came to me for advice?”

Garfield chuckled, “Yeah, it was. Got anything for me?”

“It is clear that you have more than a...how do you say... _schoolboy crush_ on our friend. You have genuine feelings. I fear there is no cure. Perhaps you could try the flirting?”

“Nah, I don’t think so. If I’m gonna go with this, I gotta do it in a way that Raven would be cool with. Any suggestions?”

Starfire put a hand to her chin, “Perhaps preparing her some of the tea she likes? Or giving her a depressing book?”

“That’s...not a bad idea, actually. Thanks, Kory!” he stood, preparing to take his leave, “You won’t tell anyone, right?”

She put a hand to her chest, “My lips are sealing. I do hope that this works to your happiness Garfield.”

The boy smiled, touched by her encouragement, “Thank you...Oh, and Star? Raven noticed I had been acting weird and she asked me why. I kinda told her it was because I have a crush on you, not her. Just a heads up.”

Before she could respond, he stepped into the hall feeling better about his situation, though nothing had changed. He had decided to give it his best and, if he failed, he would just have to accept it. Turning to face his room, he spotted Raven with her eyebrows high on her forehead and a hundred questions in her mind.

“Rae, it’s not what it looks like! I just..ugh. I just asked her for some help is all.”

“Beast Boy, I know you weren’t up to anything...weird in there. I would’ve felt it from a mile away. I just think it’s strange for you to be getting closer to her if you want your…” she sent a quick glance to Starfire’s door and lowered her voice, ”..if you want your _feelings_ for her to go away.”

“I know, I know. It won’t happen again. Hey, uh...Raven?”

“What?”

“I don’t necessarily mind you calling me by my name. If you want to, I mean. I just didn’t want to make it seem like you couldn’t earlier.”

“Okay, Garfield. If you’d like, you can call me Rachel.”

He nodded coolly despite the hammering in his chest and made his way to his room.

Beast Boy launched himself onto his bed and silently screamed as he rolled around in pure joy. Though it was a small thing, the advancement from “person I live and work with” to “friend” seemed to have occurred in the small conversation they had had. Exhausted from cleaning, Beast Boy had begun to drift off into a happy sleep.

 

Raven stood before him, wrapped in her usual cloak, except the color wasn’t blue, but a bright pink.

“Hey, Rae. Wait. Why are you wearing pink?”

“I always wear pink, BB. Where have you been?:” she giggled.

Beast Boy stared at her for a moment, then a memory crashed into his mind. He and Cyborg had accidentally entered Raven’s mind through a mirror and met the various parts of her personality. Small as she may be, he remembered this one.

“You’re not Raven! You’re giggly, happy Raven!”

The girl laughed again, “I guess you remember me now, huh?”

“Uhh, yeah. You said I was funny.”

“Cute, too,” she chirped with a wink.

Heat crept up his neck, “Th-thanks. Listen, I like you and all but, can I talk to real Raven?”

The girl Cyborg had nicknamed Happy tilted her head in puzzlement, “Why would you want her? I’m here! We’ll have a great time. Got any new games?”

The color of her cloak darkened from pink to a rich violet and a sultry smile spread across her face, “I have a few games in mind.”

Beast Boy gulped, a bit scared of this new Raven, “Um...Wh-which Raven are you?”

The girl bit her lip, “Passion.”

  


Beast Boy bolted up in bed, moonlight filtering through his window. After rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he glanced at his newly cleaned nightstand. The clock read 9:00, meaning he had fallen asleep for roughly two hours. The nap and the dream had him wired. He hadn’t forgotten the trip into Raven’s mind mirror, but the detail of what Happy said so many months ago had him thinking. Somewhere, deep deep _deep_ down, Raven thought he was funny...and at least somewhat attractive. Not to mention, the introduction of this new aspect of Raven. He hadn’t spoken to her during his trip into Raven’s mind but Passion had been there, watching him with that same smile. The thought of her looking at him like that drove him crazy. Fire raced on his cheeks and he jumped out of bed. Beast Boy made a beeline for the kitchen.

He didn’t know how to make chamomile tea but he absolutely had to try before he went back to sleep. He knew that thoughts of a passionate Raven that found him attractive and funny wouldn’t be good for his emotional aura. After rummaging through Raven’s tea cabinet for a while, he found the pale yellow box containing his salvation.

Beast Boy took a small pot out of a cabinet and filled it with water, placing it on the stove to boil. While the water heated, the boy set a mug on the counter and placed the bag of tea in it. Once the water came to a boil, Beast Boy poured the water into the mug and waited. Growing impatient, Beast Boy threw the tea bag in the trash after counting out a minute and took a sip of the brew. It was horrid. He didn’t know what he did wrong. Tossing the vile liquid down the drain, he took another tea bag from its box and began again.

* * *

 

       He was dead. Beast Boy lay on the floor of the kitchen and stared into space. How could he screw up a simple cup of tea _eight times_? Rising from the ground, he looked at the counter. Used tea bags, sugar, spoons, and mugs were strewn everywhere. Not only had he made a mess of the kitchen Raven had spent the better part of her day cleaning, he had used all but one of her bags of chamomile tea.

As he attempted to sweep the mess of sugar into his hand, he thought on his predicament, _There goes us being friends. Back to being a stain. Jeez, BB why do you suck at everything?!_

The sound of Raven clearing her throat behind him made him jump, spilling what little sugar was in his hand.

Her brow furrowed, looking at the countertop Beast Boy had ruined, “What’s going on, Garfield?”

“Raven, I..Rachel, I mean...I tried to make tea and...Well, I goofed it up pretty bad. None of it tastes half as good as the cup you made.”

The girl closed her eyes and took a deep breath, clearly struggling to hold her anger at bay, “If you wanted tea, you could have asked me to help you. How many bags did you use?”

Beast Boy gulped, “A-all except one.”

Rubbing her temples Raven approached the counter, “Garfield, please clean up the mess and I will make the tea, alright?”

The boy nodded vigorously and began gathering the soggy wasted bags from the counter, _She hates me. What was I thinking?_

Once the mess was clear, Beast Boy sat down at the table, shame in his eyes. A steaming mug slid in front of him. He took it and shot a grateful look at Raven.

“Rachel?”

“Yes?”

“Well, thank you for the tea for starters.”

She nodded, staying silent.

“What I really want to ask is...is there any way to block your empathy stuff? The tea helps and all but what about when I’m awake and feeling stuff I don’t want you to know about? I know I’m not the most secretive person or whatever but I do want my privacy...y’know Rae?”

Raven closed her eyes and sighed, “Yes, there are ways to help shield you from me. I’m sorry for any trouble or embarrassment my powers have caused. If you will let me, I can help you learn to meditate in a way that helps block my empathy.”

“Really? Thank you, Raven. Seriously. It means a lot that you want to help.”

She swept a hand out, gesturing to the kitchen, “This is partially my fault after all. Whether I intended to feel your emotions or not, this is a result of my powers and I will do everything I can to make you feel safe near me.”

Beast Boy waved his hands quickly as if to dispel the idea, “No, Rae, it’s not like that! I’m not _scared_ of you. Just want my privacy is all.”

Raven cocked her head to the side, “You..aren’t afraid of me.” It was spoken in the form of a statement, but Garfield could see the question in her eyes.

“Of course not. You’d be wicked scary if you weren’t on my side, but since you are...I think you’re pretty great,” he grinned.

The light above the table flickered. Raven stood from the table abruptly, “Goodnight, Beast Boy.”

Before Beast Boy could reply, Raven had vanished through the black hole she created in the floor.

“Goodnight, Rachel.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it took me forever to crank this chapter out but I do hope you enjoy it.


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